Learning To Love After An Abusive RelationshipApril 11, 2014
Unfortunately, many relationships turn into an abusive relationship situation where one suffers daily from mental and physical abuse. This can happen in the most loving of relationships and it can be the result of a number of underlying factors. Whatever the case, an abusive relationship is one that you must get out of and fast before something goes terribly wrong.
If you have experienced abuse in a relationship and have been knocked down, criticized, bullied and beaten, there are ways you can find love for yourself once again. First and foremost, your first step is to get away from the person who is abusing you and never allow them to be near you again. Only then can you start your personal journey of healing and self-love. Use these tips to help get you on a path towards self-love, whether you have felt it before or if this will be your first time loving who you are.
Acknowledge The Abuse And The Fact It Was Wrong
This is a very important tool when learning to love yourself after an abusive relationship. You must understand that the abuse you experienced was completely wrong. It is not the way a person who loves you should treat you. Even if the abuser told you that you deserved the treatment you received, you did not. They were full of lies and deceit and their words have no meaning. They never did hold meaning and they certainly don’t now. No one on this earth deserves abuse in any shape or form. It is very important that you acknowledge this and tell yourself this every single day from here on out.
Make Time For You, And Only You
This is imperative when trying to heal after an abusive relationship. Many people head straight towards another relationship, thinking it will heal the wounds and fill in the voids that were left behind from the abusive one. There will never be any healing if you don’t take time for yourself and your recovery. You need to build a loving relationship with yourself first and work from there. Some excellent ways to make time for yourself are starting a new hobby, taking a class, reading spiritual books of inspiration and discovery, meeting new positive-minded friends and meditating. Do things that you like to do, things that make you feel good inside and out. Focus on your own personal happiness.
Give Yourself Love Once A Day Or More
Treat yourself to a spa day, go on an hour-long hike or laze around on the beach soaking up some warm sun. Give yourself love. By taking the time to treat your body well, you are telling it that you care about its well being. You need to send this message to yourself as much as possible, so get that much-needed pedicure, go for a massage or take a warm hot bath after a long day of work. You deserve it.
Stay In A Positive Circle
Your friends and family will be a very strong resource for you now. You need to be surrounded by positive people on a constant basis. If you do have negativity in your circle of friends or family, avoid encounters while you are working on yourself. You will eventually be stronger than any negative vibe and will find it easy to avoid it. Try to keep positive people around you at all times when you are seeking support. They will help you recover from the effects of abuse at a faster rate and be extremely helpful to the new self-loving you.
Be Patient With Yourself
Remember that learning to love yourself is a work in progress and it may be a life-long one. Be patient with your progress and keep reminding yourself how you deserve ultimate happiness, love and a life free of abuse. Give yourself the same patience you would offer a child or a loved one. Treat yourself delicately, allow yourself time to heal and offer yourself compassion at all times.