Can Exes Be Just Friends?April 30, 2021
Your ex. You are running into them all over town, hearing news about them, and seeing their faces all over social media sites. What is the best way to be friendly with your ex or exes without the risk of future heartbreak, physical romance, and emotional confusion? Find out how or if you can set friendship boundaries with your exes in this investigation.
Breakups may seem like the end, but many times the person you were with lives nearby, has a similar circle of friends, or may even work with you. Navigating nostalgic feelings and reliving the past can cause a muddled sense of how to best live with them in the present. Here's how to wise up and best protect yourself while taking steps to become just friends with your ex or exes.
All Exes Are Not Equal
Unless you are brand new to love, you have at least one ex. And, chances are every relationship, and subsequent end of that relationship is unique. Therefore, each ex may warrant a completely different type of reaction when it comes to the possibility of friendship in the future.
If either partner feels that permanently parting ways is for the best, this request should be fully respected, meaning any friendship is no longer an option. In less extreme cases of dissolution, it is helpful to consider them an acquaintance, and being civil is a polite way to proceed. However, being genuinely friendly to someone you had a mutual split up with, with no love or resentment left on either side, is a perfectly reasonable outcome.
Get Attuned to Temptation
A 2020 study reveals 37% of Americans who are currently in a relationship try to reconnect with an ex online. Be honest with yourself about any underlying reason you are reaching out to them, and vice versa. Is it a just friends situation, or is there something more hidden beneath the surface?
Is either of you lacking emotional or physical intimacy at home? Being unsatisfied in your present relationship may be casting a rose-colored light on your past love lives. To keep anyone from being hurt, beware of entering into or continuing a friendship with an ex who exhibits these signs, as tempting as it may be.
Unearth your inner diva and make a list of no-nos. Remember, this is the beginning of a new type of relationship, where all new kinds of rules need to be in place to prevent personal pain. Depending on both your levels of sensitivity when it comes to getting jealous, you may want to rule out double dating with them, for instance.
You and your ex-lover may not have the same requirements. To stride forward into a fruitful friendship with your ex, make them known. Then, especially during the transition phase, show each other they have been heard and can be obeyed. If not, strongly reconsider the relationship.
You cut them off in the bedroom, but do you want them cut out of your life forever? Under certain circumstances, exes can be just friends, but if something happens, like unmanageable attraction or breaking personal boundaries, it might be time to drop them again.