Are Past Loves Preventing New Loves?May 28, 2013
Are you constantly thinking about your ex? Do they keep popping into your head when you are at work, at play and when you are out and about? Or, are they still hanging around and in your present day life? If you are flooded of thoughts of your past boyfriends or girlfriends, you are not giving out an 'available' vibe.
Others can sense whether you are open to new opportunities for love or if you are shut down and have a wall around you saying, 'not in.' If you are emotionally unavailable because of your constant 'ex' thoughts, you may be preventing yourself from new love. If you want to move on and find someone new, you should try to incorporate some of these tips into your daily life.
Get Rid of Memorabilia
First things first. If you have tons of pictures lying around of when you and your ex went to Disneyland and when you and your ex went to Hawaii, you are never going to move on. Of course it’s ok to keep old memories and you don't have to throw out every memory because of a new love interest, but if they are in frames and popping up in your clothes drawer, you must clean house. If you must keep them, put them all in a shoe box and store them away. Don't forget to throw in the tickets to the first movie you ever saw and the old love letters too.
You don't need a constant reminder of this person if they’ve moved on and are no longer interested in being with you. Even if it feels wrong, force yourself to do it. Get a friend to help you pack them up and put them away. Remember, if you and a new love interest get more serious, they may feel upset at the fact that you have these photos in your house, so tread carefully.
It's Over, But They Are Still With You
If your ex is still hanging out with you on a friend-only basis, this might be blocking you from any new love. If you were the dumper, then maybe you have to be a little strict with your boundaries. Set up a time to have coffee once in awhile instead of having daily phone calls and contact. If you are keeping someone around that still loves you and compliments you, you are not being fair to either of you. Let them move on too by setting boundaries. If you were the dumpee, you need to step back and give yourself a chance to find someone who will return the love you give.
Stop the Comparison Game
If you keep comparing the new people you meet to your ex, you will lose out on meeting some spectacular individuals. Don't play this game, as people who do only end up sitting at home on a Saturday night. Allow yourself to be open minded and you just might be surprised at the type of person you fall in love with. Your ex obviously wasn't the right personality type and match for you, otherwise it wouldn't have ended.
The more you put the above mentioned tips into action, the more you will open new doors to new love. The past is the past and the goal is to move towards a healthy, strong, loving relationship that will develop over time, without your ex in the picture.