Are You Sending the Right Signals?April 22, 2016
What is missing from your life? Does your heartache with loneliness and do you crave the affectionate touch of someone who cares or do you keep getting job interviews, but no job offers? Where is the disconnect between what you need and what you receive?
If this companionship has long been absent from your life or if you keep getting denied a job offer, it might be time to ask yourself if you're sending the right signals out to the people that you meet. Before you write that next online dating profile or go on that job interview, take an honest look at the signals you are sending out. Are you sending out the right signals to get what you want out of life?
Look at Your Outward Appearance
Are you going after a professional job, yet wear sloppy clothes? How you carry yourself can say a lot about your confidence level and how you feel about yourself. It's important to pay attention to this because overcoming a poor first impression can be difficult.
That isn't to say that you have to wear the right makeup or have impeccably ironed clothes. While you should always be authentic to yourself, paying attention to your outward appearance isn't merely an act of vanity. Put some thought into your outward appearance and craft a personal look that captures your personality.
Look at Your Physical Stance
Do you carry yourself with confidence and purpose or do you shrink back from the action? Pay attention to the signals that your posture indicates to determine if you need to make changes.
There are times that you need to project confidence and authoritativeness and other times that you want to signal that you are open and understanding. These messages can get lost in translation if you don't pay attention to your posture.
A general guide to posture is that crossed arms indicate a barrier to communication and a person who isn't open to listening and slumped shoulders and a downcast gaze send the signal that you aren't happy or confident. If you're in need of a quick boost of confidence, assume a power pose and let the increased confidence flow through your mind, body and spirit.
Look at Your Use of Touch
The use of touch, or lack thereof, can broadcast your intentions, so pay close attention to how you touch other people. The use of touch can be very intimate and is one of the signals that is most easy to misinterpret. If you try to use a comforting touch when someone is sad or a celebratory high-five, be sure to read the signals that the other person is sending out and respect their personal space.
Look at Your Enthusiasm
Are you properly conveying your level of enthusiasm? Try to make sure that your enthusiasm matches your word choice, gestures and the volume of your voice. This analysis will help give someone clues that you honestly had a great time on your date or that you feel as if you can bring new skills to a job position. Just remember to keep it appropriate for the setting. High-fives are best kept to sporting events, not first dates or job interviews.
Paying attention to the signals that you send should not be seen as disingenuous or a ploy to be someone you're not. Instead, paying attention to your outward appearance, your posture, and your interactions with others can help you determine if you are broadcasting the true you with the world.